One Week- Post Move

Mom has been in her new place one week today. Yesterday she called to sing me happy birthday. Only problem is that my birthday is today. It's the thought that counts, even if it's a bit abstract.

She told me things are going okay. She got over the depressed feeling of moving very quickly. Seems to be able to do that, just like when LeRoy (my stepdad) died. On the surface, she seemed pretty resilient. Over the years now, I do hear some deep feelings of loniless. Guess I'd be lonely too, if my wife of 25 years died.

Told me she might lead a craft class around the holidays to help residents build wreaths. Also told me 3 people showed up for line dancing, and didn't really do any dancing, just shuffling their feet. I told her she needs to be the driving organizer to get more participation. She used to dance a lot but has slowed way down due to her back problems.

Moving Day- Sept 1

This was the first day of a new life, again. Mom was moving in to her new apartment today. She seemed ready, I just hoped I was. She was tired this week from getting everything packed up and set to go. I guess if she was defiant, she'd have just sat around and said "I'm not going". The driving incident a week ago really scared her. I think that helped in a strange way, convince her she needed to be in a safer place.

Two Men and a Truck showed up at 8:30. I stopped prior to get a couple of coffees and some big cinnamon rolls from Panera. That is her favorite place. She won't be going back there again, at least not without one of us. I had just finished taking the big bed apart when they rolled in, so we were ready to go. Took them a couple of hours to load up her life. I look around at all the shit I've collected throughout the years. This is what could happen to all of it: we just downside our lives to fit the situation.

As the last pieces were loaded, her and I sat there and looked around. I know this had to be painful. I said, "This is it. Take a look around because you won't be coming back." I could feel my lower lip quiver a bit. She said she knew the fact. I gave her a short hug and left. She followed me up to Harbour Village with the truck close behind. I was concerned driving there because of all the freeway construction. Tons of traffic, closed lanes, and semis everywhere (she never liked driving around big rigs). I didn't want to lose her because of what happened before.

We made it with everybody, and everything in tow. Over the course of the next three hours we unloaded things and I did the best I could to arrange furniture and put together her bed. The new place is smaller than her condo, but everything fit somewhere. We were pretty organized and she was actually able to remember where she packed most things. Just needed some food in the frig and the phone and TV connected and she'd be in business.

Called my sister to meet us for dinner. She came over with Jim (her fiancee...number 4) and we all ate in the main dining room where they serve dinner. As you come in, off to the side is "Walker Central" with a dozen walkers all lined up. This is where we end up as humans: unable to walk, unable to wipe our own asses, unable to remember what day it is.

The food was good. The wait staff attentive (and young) and the room comfortable and elegant. I liked it. At least we could all be there as a family and share a meal on her first night. I hoped she could stay independent for many years to come. She called for a family prayer before we ate and thanked God for leading her to this place. I pray God will help us all as the disease progresses.

Relocation Need

Today I went with my mom back to Harbour Village to take a look at a unit that opened up for rent. She had lost the initial enthusiasm after our earlier visit. I think it was the cold realization that this is where she might die. Also a healthy fear of the unknown. What if she didn't like this place?

We set the appointment and I gave her directions...off the freeway....to get there. Of course, the road was under construction and she got all turned around. She called on her cell and said she didn't know where she was. Great--I had a business meeting later in the morning and things were going to get tight. I got pissed on the call. Lack of patience has always been a problem for me. I asked God to grant me serenity to accept the things I can not change. She ended up parking the car and I went and picked her up...6 miles from where we were supposed to meet!

Got to the complex, viewed the actual unit and tried to size up rooms for her furniture. The lease they have is so chalked full of legal bullshit, no 75 year old could ever understand it. Though, they do state you need to read it and understand. Right. I told her I may have to go to an attorney just to make sure. In the end, we put down a reservation deposit and now it's up to me to make arrangements to move Mom in.