My sister told me her boyfriend's birthday party was this weekend and all his family was coming up to the lake house, so Mom didn't have a place to sleep. I've got a problem with my sister putting herself and everything to do with boyfriend Jim, first.
So she suggested I keep Mom busy this weekend. It's hard for me to plan in advance, I guess in a way, because we've got things we want to do also. So I'm a hypocrite? Well, it was Tuesday night and I told Mom to come up Wednesday morning, stay the night, and spend some time together.
She made it up fine. Went to lunch with Adrianne. We had a fish fry, which she loves, and just hung out talking. Coincidentally, my cousin Sue sent me a package. I have to say I've never got a thing from her all my life. It turns out my uncle has also moved to a senior living residence and they were cleaning out the house. She had packaged up a bunch of old photos she found of me and my family.
Wow. There were some really old shots of my dad, going all the way back to his birth records, his fifth grade class photo, some shots of all of us together (my parents got divorced when I was 15), my grandparents and a bunch of me and my sister. I feel my mom still hates my dad, even after all these years. It was a total dysfunctional marriage and family. Either way, it was good to reminisce.
I have to go back to Arizona with Mom later this year to get her car and bring back some personal items she has down there. I'll have to plan on getting that house on the market to sell. She started to cry when we talked about it, saying it was the best time of her life with LeRoy (my stepdad) down there. I started to think how hard it's going to be to tell her she's going to have to move again--into an extended care facility.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Day Fourteenth
Another week gone by. Another trail of memory traps. My sister has been having some problems with this, mainly because her kids keep bugging her about the problems Mom is having. She feels the burden of not knowing what to do.
Mom said her headaches have subsided by the end of the week. It appears Exelon side effects are manageable for her. Is it helping? My sister and I both don't know what it's supposed to do for her. I know there is no cure, but reduction in memory lapses would be nice.
I called her the other day and she was trying to make chocolate chip cookies. Great! But she couldn't get the oven to work. It's brand new but she doesn't cook anymore. So she read me the manual over the phone and was able to get it started. The timer was another issue, but I think things worked out. I never called back to find out.
My sister called me tonite to say Mom had several lapses in memory about events that happened throughout the week; just a few days ago. I know. This is Alzheimer's.
Mom said her headaches have subsided by the end of the week. It appears Exelon side effects are manageable for her. Is it helping? My sister and I both don't know what it's supposed to do for her. I know there is no cure, but reduction in memory lapses would be nice.
I called her the other day and she was trying to make chocolate chip cookies. Great! But she couldn't get the oven to work. It's brand new but she doesn't cook anymore. So she read me the manual over the phone and was able to get it started. The timer was another issue, but I think things worked out. I never called back to find out.
My sister called me tonite to say Mom had several lapses in memory about events that happened throughout the week; just a few days ago. I know. This is Alzheimer's.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Day Threeteenth
My mom got back from a long 4th of July weekend with my sister. She called me to say she has the Exelon patch on and she has a terrible headache. She accepted the fact this is a side effect. I'm hoping this is the extent of it.
She remembered several events of the weekend, but couldn't easily recall who was all there. She did remember an event from last week (5 days ago) that involved my daugther, Adrianne. In detail she brought up the TV show she was watching that Mom didn't approve of. I told her things have really changed since she was a kid, and cable TV gets away with a lot more stuff that borders on "adult content". She felt it was inappropriate. Good: at least she still has morals!
She remembered several events of the weekend, but couldn't easily recall who was all there. She did remember an event from last week (5 days ago) that involved my daugther, Adrianne. In detail she brought up the TV show she was watching that Mom didn't approve of. I told her things have really changed since she was a kid, and cable TV gets away with a lot more stuff that borders on "adult content". She felt it was inappropriate. Good: at least she still has morals!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Day Twoteenth
I'll have to fill in the history gaps as I go. My hunch is this will be a long and painful journey.
My mom had finally decided to go to her doctor for an evaluation. We had been asking her to do it for weeks, but no luck. Last week she told me she woke up and didn't know where she was and was scared. Magically, the next day she made the appt with her Dr. During that app't the doc ran a quick memory test and concluded there were some signs of mild to moderate Alzheimers. She will be going in for a CT and blood work next week.
The dr had prescribed Exelon patch. I only found that out because mom said that "nothing's wrong and my memory problems are mild." I didn't buy it so I called the dr directly. The nurse told me about the Exelon script, of which mom mentioned nothing. When I saw her next I asked about what scripts were written at the appt. She did not remember Exelon. When I mentioned this, it jogged her memory and she did say she remembered something about that. I asked her not to get mad at me for calling her dr. I told her I'm just trying to look out for her own good...and said I love her.
She left my house to go home and then called to say there was no Exelon script sitting there to be filled. I called the dr back and found out it was called in directly to the pharmacy...and mom was supposed to go pick it up. During the call she also mentioned that she felt mom was borderline MODERATE, not mild. It took about a minute or so, but I felt this wave of anger and sadness sweep over me. I pounded on the car and felt like crying. I know what's coming. I've seen people die from this. My daughter was with me so I held back the tears. Shit this sucks!
My mom had finally decided to go to her doctor for an evaluation. We had been asking her to do it for weeks, but no luck. Last week she told me she woke up and didn't know where she was and was scared. Magically, the next day she made the appt with her Dr. During that app't the doc ran a quick memory test and concluded there were some signs of mild to moderate Alzheimers. She will be going in for a CT and blood work next week.
The dr had prescribed Exelon patch. I only found that out because mom said that "nothing's wrong and my memory problems are mild." I didn't buy it so I called the dr directly. The nurse told me about the Exelon script, of which mom mentioned nothing. When I saw her next I asked about what scripts were written at the appt. She did not remember Exelon. When I mentioned this, it jogged her memory and she did say she remembered something about that. I asked her not to get mad at me for calling her dr. I told her I'm just trying to look out for her own good...and said I love her.
She left my house to go home and then called to say there was no Exelon script sitting there to be filled. I called the dr back and found out it was called in directly to the pharmacy...and mom was supposed to go pick it up. During the call she also mentioned that she felt mom was borderline MODERATE, not mild. It took about a minute or so, but I felt this wave of anger and sadness sweep over me. I pounded on the car and felt like crying. I know what's coming. I've seen people die from this. My daughter was with me so I held back the tears. Shit this sucks!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Day Oneteenth
It hit me today as I was driving to work. I should try to diary the experience I'm about to embark on: dealing with my Mom and Alzheimer's. I saw the exercise posted as an activity for those who've been diagnosed, but I don't know how the hell they'll keep up when they forget how to type or don't know their name. So why not me? I'll keep the diary, a blog for today's times.
My wife's mother went through it- for 13 years, and died last year. Both my grandparents on my mom's side went through it, and both died from complications of it. Close friends parents have died from it or are going through it now. It's all around me, and now it's upon me.
It's been a year now since myself and my family first starting noticing a problem with mom's memory. It was a few of those funny forgetful moments that we all laughed about. "What are you talking about?" was the typical comment from us. I guess I need to provide a little history about her, her life leading up to this moment, and where we are today.
She'll turn 75 this year and is in pretty good health and a bit overweight. She takes what looks to be the typical dose of meds as prescribed by a myriad of physicians and her own volition: heart, thyroid, tylenol, vision, vitamins. Two years ago she ended up in the ER with a bowel obstruction and upon further review, cancerous polyps were found and surgically removed. So far, no other events since then. She's still good about monitoring pill dosages and remembering when she takes them and how many she took.
She lived in Arizona for the past 18 years with my stepdad, but he died three years ago and now she's decided to move back to Wisconsin permanently. This is her second summer back here and will be her first winter here in quite a long time (20 yrs?). It's the Summer of 2010, the grass is green, the days are wonderfully long. Mom lives alone in a condo about an hour from my house. My sister was close by, but recently moved about 30 minutes North. Her grandson moved into my sister's house, so he's still close. Other than him and his wife, we're all in the "bothersome" driving range to go to her house on a regular basis. Isn't it funny how parents become bothersome as we get older? Wonder what I was like at say, at 14...
My wife's mother went through it- for 13 years, and died last year. Both my grandparents on my mom's side went through it, and both died from complications of it. Close friends parents have died from it or are going through it now. It's all around me, and now it's upon me.
It's been a year now since myself and my family first starting noticing a problem with mom's memory. It was a few of those funny forgetful moments that we all laughed about. "What are you talking about?" was the typical comment from us. I guess I need to provide a little history about her, her life leading up to this moment, and where we are today.
She'll turn 75 this year and is in pretty good health and a bit overweight. She takes what looks to be the typical dose of meds as prescribed by a myriad of physicians and her own volition: heart, thyroid, tylenol, vision, vitamins. Two years ago she ended up in the ER with a bowel obstruction and upon further review, cancerous polyps were found and surgically removed. So far, no other events since then. She's still good about monitoring pill dosages and remembering when she takes them and how many she took.
She lived in Arizona for the past 18 years with my stepdad, but he died three years ago and now she's decided to move back to Wisconsin permanently. This is her second summer back here and will be her first winter here in quite a long time (20 yrs?). It's the Summer of 2010, the grass is green, the days are wonderfully long. Mom lives alone in a condo about an hour from my house. My sister was close by, but recently moved about 30 minutes North. Her grandson moved into my sister's house, so he's still close. Other than him and his wife, we're all in the "bothersome" driving range to go to her house on a regular basis. Isn't it funny how parents become bothersome as we get older? Wonder what I was like at say, at 14...
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