Psychologist is Crazier than Mom

Still hard to keep up with this blog. This past Wednesday I went with mom and my sister to the psychologist for the follow up visit to get her "test" results. This was from a series of memory and cognitive tests she had about a month ago following her meltdown at the restaurant with my sister.

Mom kept telling me how much she liked this doctor. She told me about four times on the way there. We'd soon find out.

Once in the office, she kept asking mom about her earlier comments on being sad or sorta depressed. Must have asked a dozen times, to the point where it was annoying. Did she want to say she's depressed? Just another chance for more drugs. But in the end, mom isn't depressed and said she's pretty happy right now. So good, we're done with the damn depression exam.

Dr said she did good on verbal testing but not so good on short term memory stuff. I couldn't help but think that I can't remember what I did yesterday, so what!

The blow up at the restaurant was puzzling to the dr. Really didn't have an explanation as to why it happened but thought it might be vascular in nature. Mom had a CT scan done, but this bozo doc didn't have the results in her file and failed to look it up on the system. This really pissed me off. The scan was done in the same hospital this dr works at. All she had to do was call up the patient and the records would be right there. She even asked if we had the results! WTF! And we're going to have to pay for this incompetence? So it could have been a mini-stroke, with no symptoms, but it would have shown up on the CT scan. Even more disturbing that she didn't investigate this stuff.

In the end she didn't think she had Alzheimer's. What? Two other drs said she did. All I know is her memory is bad, but seems to have stabilized for now. In my opinion, this psycho/shrink doctor is just as crazy as my mom.

Early Arrival

My daughter was involved in her school concert this past weekend. My mom was going to come to hear her sing. Over the course of the last week, she asked me, and I told her about three or four times that is was Sunday and to show up at my house around 3pm. She called on Saturday morning to confirm, again, what time she was supposed to come over.

The weather was pretty nice for March 20th, so I went for a walk in the early afternoon. When I was coming up the street I noticed my mom's car in the driveway. What was she doing......here? I quickly surmised she got her days wrong and was here on Saturday instead of Sunday. When I came in the house she was very apologetic, saying she could leave and calling herself stupid over and over.

Of course she stayed. In fact, for some reason she brought a suitcase for an overnight stay. The plan was to go to the concert and then go home before it got too dark (she doesn't like driving after dark). It all worked out, all of us went out for a nice Italian dinner and came home for some NCAA March Madness. At least I enjoyed that part!

On Sunday, I cooked up some French Toast and then her and I decided she should try her hand at oil painting. Not bad for a first time artist. She was able to stay focused through the whole one hour event, and it felt good for me to see her do this. After we got done, I paused and got a bit choked up thinking that there won't be many more times I will be able to share a moment like that.

Super Bowl Memories

The great news is the Packers won! Even greater news is mom watched and remembered the game. I was doing my own thing with friends, but I called her the next day and she said she watched the whole game and commented on certain things that happened. Gotta know, my mom doesn't like any sports...except figure skating during the Olympics.

Money Matters

It's Christmas time. Mom still knows it is. We were discussing gifts for the grandkids and the topic of money came up. Money matters, because of her estate, the projected costs for dealing with her Alzheimer's and just managing a budget so the trust money lasts. We talked about this about a week ago when we were with the estate planning attorney. She had told my sister's kids over Thanksgiving that she doesn't have any money and they'd each get $50. Of course, that went over like a lead balloon.

I told her she's fine and that she could give everybody $1000 each and not be worried about it. That sounded good to her, so I was comfortable with the decision. Fast forward to last week. She came over for dinner and to go hear Adrianne sing at the high school Christmas concert. I took a look in her checkbook, because she always wants to know the balance. I saw that some checks had been written to two of my sister's kids. Let's just say that one of them has been taking advantage of grandma when it comes to asking for money, and I was not happy.

I blew up, told Mom what I thought about my nephew, dropped several f-bombs and generally had a meltdown. Of course, I picked up the phone and left a nasty message for my sister instructing her to reign in her kid or I'd do it for her! She called back a couple hours later and I really didn't hear what she said because I unloaded several years of resentments I have about her kids and what they're doing with my mom. Greed overrode logic, anger presided over calm and I said many things that I can never take back. Sounds like some 10th Step work is required. Ugh...

We do have to keep in mind that this disease can end up costing us a lot of money. Most of my family doesn't remember that. The money has flowed freely, partly due to the fact Mom can't remember what she's doing and how much she's already given to everybody, myself included. It's tough dealing with this: She's almost to the point of not being able to handle her finances and pay bills. It is a progressive disease. I know that. It's just hard admitting it.

Thanksgiving

Yesterday I went with my daughter to visit Mom for lunch. We weren't going to see her on Thanksgiving and Adrianne had no school so it was a good opportunity.

Mom invited us in, since A hadn't seen her place yet. I think she enjoyed showing her where she lived. Still complaining about the clothes dryer.

The topic of Christmas came up and Mom asked what Adrianne wanted as a gift. Money, of course. I asked mom what she wanted, and she said "My memory back." She still knows that she has a memory problem, so I guess that's a good thing. If you can call Alzheimer's a good thing.

Closing up Phoenix- Leaving these Memories Behind

Traveled with mom down to her condo in Sun City last week. Our goal was to clean the place out and put it on the market. Determined that this was the first time since I was about 17 that I spent an entire 5 whole days with her! From sun up to sun down. Learned lots of things about her, and me, and Alzheimer's.

While we got a lot done, there were lots of teachable moments for me regarding patience and the power of forgetfulness. In the end we had lots of great times down there and I felt much closer to my mom than I've felt in a long time. We never know when our parents are going to leave us: In this case mentally may precede physically.

75 Years and counting

Mom, Michelle, Adrianne and Nikki

Yesterday was mom's 75th birthday party. She keeps saying she doesn't believe she's lived this long. Why not?

It took place at Harmony Inn, village of Greendale. My sister did a lot of the planning and we picked this place cuz mom said she loves the food. Her aunt Helen was there from Portland, my two uncles, two of her old friends from Arizona and all my sister's kids and Jim's kids.

Everything went well and she pretty much was on top of things with her memory. She told me several times she had a great time and enjoyed the party. Hey, you're only 75 once!