We're All Going to Die Sometime

Such profound words from a woman with Stage 6 Dementia. The crippled mind can still associate human emotions with consequences, even if they're not the result of immediate actions. Today we met with the caregivers at Harbor Village. The time is quickly approaching when we have to make that tough decision about moving Mom to memory care.

It's been months, maybe a year since my last post to this blog. Life just flashes by; who's got time to write about memories. Especially on a blog that so few know about. But, so many are in the same boat. With Alzheimer's and dementia cases climbing at astronomical rates, lots of families will be impacted. For me, at 58, chances are I'll be diagnosed at some point. And when we reach this point where you can't take care of yourself, and your actions are viewed as "dangerous", the family is left with a choice: what to do with the patient. Remember caregiver, that's my mom (or dad).

So cold and seemingly matter of fact was the discussion.My sister is an RN and works with people who are dying: so close to death they can taste it. And they surely resemble it with their outward appearance. It's interesting when you see someone at the end of their life and think "they look like they're going to die." At least, that's the way I think.

"Mom, nobody's going to die." Those were my calming words. Even though, strangely enough, this move, this place, memory care, is about getting ready to succumb to the disease. For my mother-in-law it took 8 years of getting ready: Physically strong, mentally wasting away, it was brutal to watch this person remain alive with advanced Alzheimer's.

Psychologist is Crazier than Mom

Still hard to keep up with this blog. This past Wednesday I went with mom and my sister to the psychologist for the follow up visit to get her "test" results. This was from a series of memory and cognitive tests she had about a month ago following her meltdown at the restaurant with my sister.

Mom kept telling me how much she liked this doctor. She told me about four times on the way there. We'd soon find out.

Once in the office, she kept asking mom about her earlier comments on being sad or sorta depressed. Must have asked a dozen times, to the point where it was annoying. Did she want to say she's depressed? Just another chance for more drugs. But in the end, mom isn't depressed and said she's pretty happy right now. So good, we're done with the damn depression exam.

Dr said she did good on verbal testing but not so good on short term memory stuff. I couldn't help but think that I can't remember what I did yesterday, so what!

The blow up at the restaurant was puzzling to the dr. Really didn't have an explanation as to why it happened but thought it might be vascular in nature. Mom had a CT scan done, but this bozo doc didn't have the results in her file and failed to look it up on the system. This really pissed me off. The scan was done in the same hospital this dr works at. All she had to do was call up the patient and the records would be right there. She even asked if we had the results! WTF! And we're going to have to pay for this incompetence? So it could have been a mini-stroke, with no symptoms, but it would have shown up on the CT scan. Even more disturbing that she didn't investigate this stuff.

In the end she didn't think she had Alzheimer's. What? Two other drs said she did. All I know is her memory is bad, but seems to have stabilized for now. In my opinion, this psycho/shrink doctor is just as crazy as my mom.